Conference Hates

Things that happen frequently at scientific conferences that I hate:



0/ Coders who start lists at 0 to be funny.



1/ Speaking for >115% of your allotted time. 



2/ Ignoring the chairperson trying to get you to bloody well stop. 



3/ Using a laptop or smart phone at high screen brightness in dark lecture halls.



4/ Having multiple or premature summary slides (unless specificed as section specific).



5/ Doing your long intro even thou the keynote speaker covered it in vast detail.



6/ The god-damn universally awful conference excursions.



7/ Asking questions about your interests\work when a talk was not about those. 



8/ Asking very specific technical questions that are only of interest to the asker on the last talk before a break.



9/ Dropping in complex terms you do not truly understand to sound impressive.



10/ Moaning about the organisers' computers not having your non-standard codec.



11/ Those who feel compelled to ask questions of every single talk they attend.



12/ A chairperson who offers questions even when already running overtime.



13/ Stupid attempts to schedule talks before 9 or have workshops on the weekend.



14/ Choosing to speak on subject with crucial bits unmentionable due to patents/commerical interests.



15/ People who ask new PhD students questions knowing they won't be able to answer.



16/ Angrily referencing really old or hard to find research eg But Bunski's lots done that in the 50s in Russia!



17/ Commercial speakers who do not say anything about method.



18/ Reps. who will not give you the sweets/toys if your are not in their field.



19/ "Defence" speakers who say an answer is classified when they mean they don't know.



20/ Choosing to use your own laptops and not bothering to work out how to connect it until your talk.



21/ People whining about fecking fonts.



22/ The irrelevant speech by a local politician/businessman to open the conference. 



23/ People who try to force audience participation in their talk.



24/ A chairperson who asks multiple questions before they allow others.



25/ Meek chairs who let sessions overrun and think it is funny.