Conference Hates

Things that happen frequently at scientific conferences that I hate:

0/ Coders who start lists at 0 to be funny.

1/ Speaking for >115% of your allotted time. 

2/ Ignoring the chairperson trying to get you to bloody well stop. 

3/ Using a laptop or smart phone at high screen brightness in dark lecture halls.

4/ Having multiple or premature summary slides (unless specificed as section specific).

5/ Doing your long intro even thou the keynote speaker covered it in vast detail.

6/ The god-damn universally awful conference excursions.

7/ Asking questions about your interests\work when a talk was not about those. 

8/ Asking very specific technical questions that are only of interest to the asker on the last talk before a break.

9/ Dropping in complex terms you do not truly understand to sound impressive.

10/ Moaning about the organisers' computers not having your non-standard codec.

11/ Those who feel compelled to ask questions of every single talk they attend.

12/ A chairperson who offers questions even when already running overtime.

13/ Stupid attempts to schedule talks before 9 or have workshops on the weekend.

14/ Choosing to speak on subject with crucial bits unmentionable due to patents/commerical interests.

15/ People who ask new PhD students questions knowing they won't be able to answer.

16/ Angrily referencing really old or hard to find research eg But Bunski's lots done that in the 50s in Russia!

17/ Commercial speakers who do not say anything about method.

18/ Reps. who will not give you the sweets/toys if your are not in their field.

19/ "Defence" speakers who say an answer is classified when they mean they don't know.

20/ Choosing to use your own laptops and not bothering to work out how to connect it until your talk.

21/ People whining about fecking fonts.

22/ The irrelevant speech by a local politician/businessman to open the conference. 

23/ People who try to force audience participation in their talk.

24/ A chairperson who asks multiple questions before they allow others.

25/ Meek chairs who let sessions overrun and think it is funny.